It Starts Tonight and Uncle Bob Writes…

Uncle Bob and Maureen. Photo by Tommy Mintz.

HELLO LADYMEN & GENTLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!

I can hardly wait to see you at the opening night of the Harvestworks Video Art Festival, Near Sighted-Far Out, and my first time ever veejaying. Although veejaying will be a new task for me to master, I trust that my many-some-odd years of schticking in the Borscht Belt, as well as having a high powered executive position for the U.S. government has adequately prepared me to do a superb job! And how could I fail with a marvelous and effervescent audience such as you??

First, we have a magnificent and highly talented group of VIDEO ARTISTS whose work will be showing.  These include Elizabeth Axtman, Alan Calpe, Nanna Debois Buhl, Brendan Fernandes, Natalie Frigo, Stephanie Hough, Amy Lynn Kazymerchyk, Jefferson Pinder, Federico Solmi, Donna Szoke, and Traci Talasco.

Then my right and left arms for the evening–THE VIDEO RESPONDENTS. They include a dynamic array of multi-talented, daring, darling, and delightful EXTRAORDINARY EVERYBODYS!!!!! They are masters in their fields; I have had one-on-one and eloquent conversations with them on everything from money matters to menus. They have consistently impress me with their diligence, charm, and positive attitudes. I would ask any of them in a split second to be a member of my staff.

Uncle Bob, Mom and Tarique. Photo by Tommy Mintz.

So, without further ado, let me tell you WHO THEY ARE:

LAUREN ABRAMS
Is a permanent fixture on The Uncle Bob Show. Whether in a pink feathered dance costume or a sequined evening gown, Lovely Lauren wrangles wallflowers to the dance floor, hands out prizes, dyes Easter Eggs, pops popcorn, and decorates Uncle Bob’s sets with festive signs and decorations. She is a generous, loving, devoted cutiepie of a granddaughter to her sister Danielle and to Uncle Bob.

JORDAN BELKIN
Is the founder of “Stand Up for a Cure.” This organization raises awareness and money for cancer research. This September, Jordan produced a fundraiser featuring the Dave Matthews Band at Madison Square Garden. Jordan is a nurse at Sloane Kettering Hospital. He knows many celebrities in the entertainment industry, and is a mensch of a grandson!

SETH BOIGON
Has discerning taste buds and can shepherd you to the cheap, tasty, yummy-in-your-tummy restaurants throughout all 5 boroughs. I have personally never experienced a loss of protein in my dinners with Seth and he has a sharp mind for numbers including the tip. Seth is a geriatric social worker, the “king of oatmeal,” and a true-blue movie buff.

MAUREEN CONNOR
Is the best dressed dame that anyone would ever know! Ask her all about those downtown sample sales. Maureen calls herself a video and installation artist but she is also a good listener who asks challenging questions. Maureen has exhibited her work all over the world and is about to travel to Romania, where she will be launching a collaboration with the Institute for Wishful Thinking at Periferic 8: Biennial for Contemporary Art. Maureen is a veteran on The Uncle Bob Show. She just can’t seem to get enough Mountain Dew and Mallomars!

STEVEN G. FULLWOOD
I’m sorry to say that Steven–that dynamic librarian and writer (who’s also a great dresser!) –won’t be able to join us tomorrow. He’s got a pinched nerve. Rest up Steven and we wish you a quick and thorough recovery.

TOMMY MINTZ
My longtime work partner, Tommy is a faithful employee of the Uncle Bob staff. (He is currently storing my Xerox machine.) Tommy takes snapshots of all of my dance lessons, speeches, meetings with important people (like those pictured above) and somehow manages to print my photos on the spot. Not only is Tommy a bright young man, he is a true magician! A native New Yorker, Tommy has designed published and sells the first ever NYC Public Toilet Map. Graphed from personal experience in our city’s toilets, he does the dirty job of rating their quality.

MARGARET ROSE VENDRYES
Was once Uncle Bob’s boss at the City University of New York. They both left CUNY! Margaret was always pleased with Bob’s job performance, so much in fact that she has agreed to join the Uncle Bob Family. I am impressed and astounded by Margaret’s paintings of African American singers wearing traditional African masks. And like Uncle Bob, Margaret also puts on a show or two. She is currently curating a collection at the Amistad Research Center at the New Orleans Museum of Art that will open in 2009.

JUSTIN WEDES
Now here’s a young man that put the “men” in mensch. He is a klezmer with Motown in his ears, and plays the accordion as well as all sorts of other instruments–even the kazoo! Justin is a recent transplant to NYC from Detroit so be sure to bring a sign to the show reading: JUSTIN WEDES—UNCLE BOB WELCOMES YOU TO THE BIG APPLE!

TARIQUE WILLIAMS
Also a returnee to The Uncle Bob Show, Tarique is a devotee to the Dancing on a Cloud repertoire. He has done some fancy footwork on many a Conga Line and has been a fine participant in my Macarena lessons. Tarique is 12 and just started middle school. He is a poet who doesn’t take himself too seriously, and recently caught a baseball at a NY Mets game.

And last but not least…UNCLE BOB (aka Danielle Abrams)
I am proud to tell you that I’ve been a ballroom dance teacher and a Regional Administrator for the U.S. government’s Department of Labor (D.O.L.) for 40-some-odd years. I also compiled the vinyl LP titled It’s Like Dancing on a Cloud with Bob and Doris. Doris is my wife.

My granddaughter Danielle, also in the entertainment business, has taken a few dance steps where I left off. Together we host dance lessons, Champagne Hours, and even allow for an unsuspecting appearance at a family gathering or art opening. Having met such superb and scintillating celebrities through our social networks, we have been so delighted to create a venue where we could schmooze, snooze, nosh, and have a little chat. This, of course, being The Uncle Bob Show! Our first of many Uncle Bob Shows took place at The Jewish Museum last March as part of Andrew Ingall’s curatorial project, Off the Wall Artists at Work. See the movie here.

We had such a marvelous time with our guests at The JewMu that we decided to present them to you again at Near Sighted-Far Out. This time, rather than showing you what THEY DO, our guests will talk about what YOU DO; be prepared VIDEO ARTISTS for ingenious responses to your wonderful creations that our guests are preparing to present!

Can’t wait to see you all…and be sure to have your tummy ready for yummy yummy popcorn!

Your Uncle,
BOB